


those broken, abandoned and lost

by Ralph_E_Silvering



Series: Obikin Week 2018 [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Day 3, Gen, M/M, Obi-Wan and the SKywalker twins, Obikin Week 2018, Post-Revenge of the Sith, Prompt: Broken, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love, mentions of past one-sided Obi-Wan/Anakin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 13:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15390216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralph_E_Silvering/pseuds/Ralph_E_Silvering
Summary: Obi-Wan isn’t sure what hope there is for the future, anymore.





	those broken, abandoned and lost

**Author's Note:**

> For Obikin Week 2018. Day 3. Prompt: Broken.

Obi-Wan stood on the viewing deck of the medical facility on Polis Massa and tried not to think. Everything was…everything was broken. Everything was lost.

_No, don’t think about that._

He had tried calling Ahsoka again but her comlink was unresponsive, and reports from Mandalore didn’t look good. Where could she go? Who could she turn to if she couldn’t find him? If she was even still alive. They had lost so many.

They had lost…

_No, don’t think about that._

Obi-Wan held his breath and tried to count to ten, but somewhere around eight he caught a glimpse of his charred and sooty tunic, felt the dried sweat on his face and the memory of Padmé’s frantic, too-tight grip around his fingers.

“You’ll protect them if I don’t make it?” she’d demanded of him, before the droid delivered the twins. “Please Obi-Wan, I am so afraid they’ll never be safe anymore. You’ll love them, won’t you?” Her brown eyes had been wide with worry and anguish.

How could Obi-Wan explain to her that he already adored the two sparks of life within her more than anything else?

But she’d seemed to understand, and she’d died entrusting to him the two most precious things she had ever had; Luke and Leia.

And now she was gone. Just like the Jedi and the Republic and…and _Anakin_. His breath expelled in a ‘whoosh’ and on the inhale he smelled burned cloth, and the insides of his nostrils were coated with the memory scent of burned flesh.

Obi-Wan gagged, bending over and dry-heaving as his stomach tried to expel anything he had left. Oh Force, he had…he had…. Anakin had died in the most terrible way possible.

He had died at Obi-Wan’s hands after he had become something the Jedi Master couldn’t recognize anymore.

_I hate you!_

All of Obi-Wan’s love – his hopeless, patient, enduring, quiet love – haven’t been enough to save the one person he…

The Force was wailing around him, shaking and then wrenching apart in great, jagged lines of psychic waves from the magnitude of Obi-Wan’s grief.

The blood-shot yellow of his eyes, where sky blue ought to have been…. his hand so close to Obi-Wan’s own, but to push away not to reach for…the fire consuming soft golden curls…. Obi-Wan’s lightsaber cutting through strong, fearless limbs…that brilliant presence of his in the Force turned into a gaping, burning, black hole of rage and fear…twisted and evil…

_No, don’t think about that!_

There was a pounding on the door behind him, shouts of alarm, and Obi-Wan found himself on the floor, his forehead pressed to cold durasteel as he tried in vain to bring himself back under control. He felt blood dripping from where his own nails had dug into his palms, and his cheeks were wet with tears.

“Master Kenobi?” A voice said hesitantly from very far away. “Master Kenobi.” And there was a hand on his shoulder, roughly shaking him. “Obi-Wan!”

Somewhere an infant was crying, wailing its heart out and there was fear and confusion flowing into the Force.

Obi-Wan’s eyes opened with effort and he shakily pushed himself upright, dull gaze drifting over until he saw Bail Organa looking as lost as Obi-Wan felt. In his arms was a screaming baby. Leia, Obi-Wan realized. Her face was screwed up and red from crying and she attempted to wave tiny fists around.

She was scared, Obi-Wan realized, and her powerful Force presence was already reaching out for him, demanding comfort but also blindly seeking his presence. She was scared because of him.

Obi-Wan’s shields slammed up instantly, seeking to protect the little one from any more of his grief. But that just made her cry harder.

Obi-Wan knew he looked like a mess, like someone on a precipice from which there was no coming back, and he wouldn’t have blamed Bail in the slightest if the other man had fled with the baby. But Bail Organa was obviously made of sterner stuff, for when Obi-Wan held out his arms he unhesitatingly reached over and placed Leia in them.

She instantly stopped crying, whimpering a little as she blinked open huge, brown eyes – Padmé’s eyes – and tried to focus on his face. Obi-Wan opened his shields just far enough that his presence could wash over her, that she would know he was there, and he gasped when Leia instinctively reached back, entwining her Force signature with his just like her father had once done.

Tears fell from Obi-Wan’s eyes to drop like rain on that little face, nestled within his arms, but Leia didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s alright now, little one,” Obi-Wan crooned as gently as he could, despite his grief-wrecked voice. “I’m sorry.”

Leia’s brilliant presence in the Force, her bubbling contentment and happiness, seemed to suggest that she forgave him. Obi-Wan reached out a little further and could feel Luke’s quiet distress as well, less demanding than Leia’s as if he had decided to let his sister handle Obi-Wan’s grief.

The Jedi Master couldn’t help the watery smile that provoked, and he wrapped both children in as much warmth and love as he could, rocking Leia gently until she fell into a light doze.

Bail sat beside him on the cold floor the entire time, not saying a word and merely observing the two of them.

After Leia’s eyes closed, he waited several minutes before slowly reaching out and placing a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

“I apologize,” Obi-Wan said stiffly, unable to meet the Senator’s eyes. What he had done had been selfish and inexcusable, when there were such young and innocent lives around him.

But the Alderaanian prince shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Master Kenobi. The children just started crying and Master Yoda suggested that I take Leia to you, for she seemed to be in the most distress.” He shifted until his shoulder brushed Obi-Wan’s and they were sitting side by side, looking out at the stars, Leia between them. “I’m glad that I did.”

For long moments there was silence between them as they unconsciously brought their breathing around to those of the sleeping baby.

“Will you be alright?” Bail asked at last.

Obi-Wan wanted to laugh bitterly at that. He would see Anakin’s hate-filled face in his dreams every night for the rest of his life, he knew. But he looked down at the precious being in his arms and he took a deep breath. “Yes,” he promised. He would have to be.

For them.

**Author's Note:**

> There’s such a lot of Obi-Wan and Luke, that I really wanted to write an Obi-Wan and Leia story. Besides I feel like Leia is always associated with hope – she’s the one person who keeps fighting – and so I thought it perfect that she brings Obi-Wan some hope too.


End file.
